Jeff Daniels Declares Kamala Is Lincoln Reincarnated, Liz Cheney Apparently Invented Diplomacy

In a moment that could only be described as the political version of dramatic improv theater, actor Jeff Daniels delivered a monologue that left even Hollywood’s most progressive echo chambers wondering whether irony had packed its bags and fled to Canada.

Sitting in an interview that seemed more like a dramatic reading of a rejected West Wing script, Daniels—star of stage, screen, and now surreal political fantasies—boldly claimed that Kamala Harris would’ve been “what Lincoln was.” Yes. Abraham Lincoln. That Lincoln.

Apparently undeterred by polls, approval ratings, or the well-documented fact that Harris’s most memorable contribution to public discourse has been an awkward laugh and speeches that read like AI gone rogue, Daniels pressed on. “She would’ve done what Lincoln did,” he said. The internet paused, blinked, and checked whether satire was still legal.

But he wasn’t done. In what must’ve been a spiritual casting session inside his mind, Daniels also cast Liz Cheney as Secretary of State. Yes, that Liz Cheney. The one whose last name has made half the Middle East flinch since the early 2000s.

Because nothing says “healing the nation” like resurrecting the political descendants of the Bush-Cheney war machine.

To summarize: in Daniels’ dream government, Kamala Harris rides into the White House with the moral clarity of Lincoln and the competence of a Netflix algorithm, while Liz Cheney rewrites the Geneva Convention with a side-eye and a drone strike. It’s not a Saturday Night Live skit—it’s just Tuesday with Jeff Daniels.

Now, let's be charitable. Maybe Jeff Daniels was speaking in metaphors. Maybe by “Lincoln,” he meant “someone who occasionally reads things aloud and looks serious.”

And maybe by “Secretary of State,” he meant “someone whose foreign policy experience is limited to watching Homeland on Showtime.” Either way, it’s clear that Daniels is part of a growing sect in celebrity culture who believe political competence can be found in vibes, facial expressions, and Twitter applause.

This, of course, comes at a time when Kamala Harris’s approval ratings are so deep underwater that Jacques Cousteau might file a copyright claim. Her biggest accomplishment as Vice President remains surviving the job without tripping into a metaphorical volcano of expectations, unless you count her infamous “do not come” speech as geopolitical genius. Spoiler alert: they came anyway.

Daniels’ comparison to Lincoln wasn’t just historically unhinged—it was spiritually insulting. Lincoln was a self-taught lawyer who led the country through a civil war and delivered the Gettysburg Address without once mispronouncing “the.”

Kamala Harris once described her philosophy on space exploration like she was explaining it to kindergarteners—because she was. That’s not Lincoln. That’s a Pixar character trying to sell a plush toy.

And Liz Cheney? Yes, she did break with her party to criticize Donald Trump. But that doesn’t mean she automatically qualifies as a benevolent stateswoman. That’s like calling Edward Snowden a cybersecurity hero just because he remembered his email password.

Cheney, like her father, still supports an aggressive foreign policy that would give even Henry Kissinger indigestion. Her tenure in the State Department would probably involve more boots on the ground than ink on treaties.

But this is the modern political fantasyland of celebrity elites, where anyone who squints hard enough at a teleprompter can be the next FDR. Daniels joins a long list of actors whose political visions feel more like rejected movie plots than serious civic contributions. It’s the same genre of thinking that gave us “Imagine” during COVID and that time Mark Ruffalo thought Venezuela just needed more empathy.

In Daniels’ defense, his passion for political theater is unmatched—emphasis on theater. His most famous role involved a monologue from The Newsroom where he savaged America’s flaws while being fictional. Maybe he got confused and thought he was still in character. Or maybe he’s been attending too many dinner parties in Los Feliz.

What’s more baffling is the sincerity behind his statement. This wasn’t sarcasm. This was Daniels trying to deliver what he thought was a mic-drop of wisdom, a cinematic moment in real life. But instead of “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington,” it felt more like “Mr. Daniels Trips Over a History Book.”

And the internet noticed. Within minutes, clips of the interview went viral, interspersed with montages of Harris word-salading her way through press conferences and Cheney talking about military intervention like it was brunch.

One user wrote, “Kamala is Lincoln if Lincoln delivered the Emancipation Proclamation in emojis.” Another said, “Daniels just gave us the most ambitious crossover between delusion and denial in political history.”

Even some left-leaning commentators raised eyebrows. “I love Jeff Daniels as an actor,” one posted. “But saying Kamala is Lincoln is like saying a parking ticket is the new Magna Carta.” Another quipped, “Liz Cheney for Secretary of State? Sure, right after we make George W. Bush Poet Laureate.”

It’s not that celebrities aren’t allowed to have political opinions. It’s that some of them forget the difference between the green room and the situation room.

Daniels’ remarks land in the same realm as Alyssa Milano trying to explain foreign policy on TikTok or Rob Reiner tweeting about democracy like it’s a reboot of All in the Family. There’s a thin line between advocacy and absurdity, and Daniels leapt over it in a single bound.

And while the average American is trying to afford groceries, navigate crime-ridden cities, and pay $5 for gas, Jeff Daniels is playing political cosplay, complete with Civil War-era fanfiction and neoconservative cosplay.

One wonders what Daniels thinks Harris would have done in 1863. Would she have tweeted the Emancipation Proclamation with a laughing emoji? Would Liz Cheney have sent bayonets to Gettysburg by drone?

To be clear, Daniels has every right to express his opinion. But when those opinions sound like Mad Libs written by an MSNBC intern after four glasses of chardonnay, expect mockery. It’s the cost of entry into public discourse, especially when you compare Kamala Harris to a man whose presidential debates weren’t ghostwritten by interns named Todd.

But perhaps Daniels has inadvertently done the public a favor. His comments serve as a perfect reminder of how completely disconnected the Hollywood class has become from political reality. To them, competence is measured in applause lines, not policy wins. History is a prop. And Kamala Harris is Lincoln.

In conclusion, the Daniels Doctrine—where Kamala is Lincoln, Cheney is the dove of diplomacy, and the Constitution is optional if you squint hard enough—will live on as a shining moment in celebrity delusion. It belongs in a time capsule labeled Things We Thought Were Real in 2025.

And if Daniels ever runs for office, we hope his platform includes a Netflix special where Abraham Lincoln explains quantum gender economics while riding a hoverboard.

Because that would still make more sense than what he said this week.